What the biz!!! (Scams galore)

It has come to my attention recently and I love haggling with con artists.  I have been in the market for a new phone for quite some time, well ever since my chocolate died last summer, and 

I have found that there are way too many con artists on craigslist, and ebay is certainly not giving me the prices I need.

Last night I found multiple ads just in an Indianapolis craigslist search for iphone, that as I dug in deeper and started asking them buying questions they all had seperate excuses for why I couldnt use paypal or anyother secure transaction type to insure my purchase was legit.  When I asked one of them about a web site so i could read up on his supposed "refund policy" he calmy replied that their web site was under construction.  After that I just chuckled and asked him what other excuses he had that might work better on me. :-P 

One lady tried to tell me that she couldnt use her paypal account because she was going through a divorce. I asked her if she had a phone number or address that I could meet her so i could pay in person so i could inspect the phone before i bought it. She hasnt replied back yet:( I really enjoy their attempts at responding to my emails.

So I often ask myself "what the biz!!!" when I find an iPhone advertisement for $150; then I promptly ask the seller what BS they are sellin.

Some Wounds Are Timeless

This is my first truely unhappy memory:

"Their yells are barely noticeable from beneath my firmly held earmuffs I had fashioned from my favorite down pillow. They were at it again tonight, I thought as I struggled not to overhear the crash of plates shattering on the tile kitchen floor. Some nights I wish I could just sail away as if my water bed were the open sea. They've been at each others' throats for months and the end of this storm is nowhere in sight.

Months pass and the yells get harder and harder to drown from my twin size ocean. And try as I might mom and dad wont even eat with each other anymore. I never imagined they would let their differences come between us. I had hoped they would be able to fix things, but its nothing short of a lost cause.

Their separation came suddenly and they asked me to make a choice. Me, a nine year-old, who's spent the last year of his life crying in his room trying to drown out his parent's fights with his own sobs. How is he supposed to decide who he belongs with? How is he supposed to know where the better path lays? I choose the nurturing arms of my mother over the entertaining faces of my father.

We never spoke about my father after that. I became more reserved and stopped making friends. I decided that my memories would be kept safer if I made them with the few people I knew I could entrust them to. My friends became closer than family to me. My humor seemed to disguise my depression fairly well. I started doing impressions because I enjoyed imagining myself as anyone else but me. I hated not having them both more than hearing them fight."

This is when I began holding it all in. This was the bomb that dropped on my expressive former-self.

I don't look back on this much, because of the pain it now reminds me of. I have decided that they did the right thing. I can not hate them for it. I can only imagine what things would be like if they had figured out a way to stay together if for nothing else but for my sister and I.

Call This A Prelude To A Lifetime Of You

Before I begin, I'd just like to say that this will in no way be nearly as concise or riveting as I plan for it to be. That being said, to increase reader's delight, imagine my words being narrated in an English accent. Any further literary devices you choose to use, including but not limited to symbolism, allegory, humor, drama, plot, theme, and/or personification, are the exclusive property of the reader and therefore Wames Jagner is not liable for any emotional discomfort or insecurity caused by aforementioned literary devices.

Prelude: Many are the events that have come to mold and shape me and I have come to call these things life. Life is often misconstrued to be this insurmountable task, and I used to feel the same way. Don't get me wrong life is not something that can just be laughed at and brushed aside, Its just not always the crazy drama hole we dig ourselves into. I was only nine years old when I came to realize that I have a chance to be something more than this. I had a dream, a glimpse of what I could be. Ever since I've been searching for my purpose. That one instance that makes your heart jump out of your chest because it wants to get out in front of you and lead you in the right direction. To this day, my heart lies beating calmly inside my chest. I long for something to excite it. I salivate at the opportunity to live dangerously. I want to redeem myself...