In the moments when you feel lifted...

Let me start out by saying that I am ashamed at how easily material things can influence my mood.

My new iphone got here today! I'm so happy:) I need to get busy switching my contacts over to it:)  Quite possibly my favorite part of the iphone is the shimmy cloth.  This is true because if anyone has ever seen the homestar runner podcasts at the end Strongbad does a faceprint on yuor ipod screen and says: "uh oh looks like you're gonna need one of those...shimmy cloths." Its pretty funny if the podcast isnt funny enough that will certainly get you rollin. 

On another note, my iphone was supposed to be a 2g but it shipped with a 3g instruction booklet, im not sure if thats just default iphone packaging these days but i certainly got a deal if not.

Obsessions: my new iphone

Reaching into the unknown (Good, Bad, Ugly)

It snowed all day yesterday:) It didnt stick though:(

Good News (Not the Jesus kind):

I've been thinking my myspace profile was a little bland for a while now, so I've decided to get back on the educational wagon and teach myself how to make an entire flash website. I'm hoping that this will eventually bring me skill enough to mastermind my own design portfolio. 

Bad News:

Its getting really hard for me to concentrate at my job. I hate not being in the field i want to end up in.  Design is really all i want to do, and scanning records and printing faxes have both just lost their luster.  Maybe somebody should put some colored paper in the printer so it'll make me chuckle for 5 seconds.

The Ugly .....Stuff:

The consecuences of me putting colored paper in one of the printers would probably consist of me chuckling loudly then getting yelled at by my manager.... woah is me. The entertqainment value seems to greatly out weigh the consecuences. I'm so gonna have some fun today.

On another note, messing with people in your office is very dangerous business kids, so dont try this unless you have very little supervision, otherwise you could get fired:p

Obsessions: Deviantart , Emailing the guy who i bought my iphone on ebay from every 5 minutes until he ships the damn thing!, nike+

Winter where art thou?

So its the middle of December and I'm aware that snow has been here already but I need more of it. I need it to stay. It keeps friggin melting and that is not okay with me. Ugh... Is it sad that the better part of my day is spent wishing snow was covering everything? I think its a valid request.

Current obsessions: Jogging in my new Nike+ Shox, New All American Rejects album (hits shelves tomorrow)

Dreaming In Black and White

Every night as I watch your eyes close,

I start to wonder just where your mind goes.

This may be a bit of track,

but I hope you're thinking of me,

because when my eyes close,

I'm thinking of you back.

When that bubble apears above your head,

When you're sleeping soundly in your bed,

Just know that I'm always with you,

Whether its in your bubble above your head

Or next to you in bed,

Just know that I'm there with you.

Do you dream in color or just in outlines?

Because I could be there either way.

Whether you're slaying dragons or dancing slowly,

I could do it all with you there with me.

You know that As long as you're dreaming through a window,

Your heart can take you anywhere you want to go.

Just leave the window open for me.

So in your dreams I'll always be.

What the biz!!! (Scams galore)

It has come to my attention recently and I love haggling with con artists.  I have been in the market for a new phone for quite some time, well ever since my chocolate died last summer, and 

I have found that there are way too many con artists on craigslist, and ebay is certainly not giving me the prices I need.

Last night I found multiple ads just in an Indianapolis craigslist search for iphone, that as I dug in deeper and started asking them buying questions they all had seperate excuses for why I couldnt use paypal or anyother secure transaction type to insure my purchase was legit.  When I asked one of them about a web site so i could read up on his supposed "refund policy" he calmy replied that their web site was under construction.  After that I just chuckled and asked him what other excuses he had that might work better on me. :-P 

One lady tried to tell me that she couldnt use her paypal account because she was going through a divorce. I asked her if she had a phone number or address that I could meet her so i could pay in person so i could inspect the phone before i bought it. She hasnt replied back yet:( I really enjoy their attempts at responding to my emails.

So I often ask myself "what the biz!!!" when I find an iPhone advertisement for $150; then I promptly ask the seller what BS they are sellin.

Some Wounds Are Timeless

This is my first truely unhappy memory:

"Their yells are barely noticeable from beneath my firmly held earmuffs I had fashioned from my favorite down pillow. They were at it again tonight, I thought as I struggled not to overhear the crash of plates shattering on the tile kitchen floor. Some nights I wish I could just sail away as if my water bed were the open sea. They've been at each others' throats for months and the end of this storm is nowhere in sight.

Months pass and the yells get harder and harder to drown from my twin size ocean. And try as I might mom and dad wont even eat with each other anymore. I never imagined they would let their differences come between us. I had hoped they would be able to fix things, but its nothing short of a lost cause.

Their separation came suddenly and they asked me to make a choice. Me, a nine year-old, who's spent the last year of his life crying in his room trying to drown out his parent's fights with his own sobs. How is he supposed to decide who he belongs with? How is he supposed to know where the better path lays? I choose the nurturing arms of my mother over the entertaining faces of my father.

We never spoke about my father after that. I became more reserved and stopped making friends. I decided that my memories would be kept safer if I made them with the few people I knew I could entrust them to. My friends became closer than family to me. My humor seemed to disguise my depression fairly well. I started doing impressions because I enjoyed imagining myself as anyone else but me. I hated not having them both more than hearing them fight."

This is when I began holding it all in. This was the bomb that dropped on my expressive former-self.

I don't look back on this much, because of the pain it now reminds me of. I have decided that they did the right thing. I can not hate them for it. I can only imagine what things would be like if they had figured out a way to stay together if for nothing else but for my sister and I.

Call This A Prelude To A Lifetime Of You

Before I begin, I'd just like to say that this will in no way be nearly as concise or riveting as I plan for it to be. That being said, to increase reader's delight, imagine my words being narrated in an English accent. Any further literary devices you choose to use, including but not limited to symbolism, allegory, humor, drama, plot, theme, and/or personification, are the exclusive property of the reader and therefore Wames Jagner is not liable for any emotional discomfort or insecurity caused by aforementioned literary devices.

Prelude: Many are the events that have come to mold and shape me and I have come to call these things life. Life is often misconstrued to be this insurmountable task, and I used to feel the same way. Don't get me wrong life is not something that can just be laughed at and brushed aside, Its just not always the crazy drama hole we dig ourselves into. I was only nine years old when I came to realize that I have a chance to be something more than this. I had a dream, a glimpse of what I could be. Ever since I've been searching for my purpose. That one instance that makes your heart jump out of your chest because it wants to get out in front of you and lead you in the right direction. To this day, my heart lies beating calmly inside my chest. I long for something to excite it. I salivate at the opportunity to live dangerously. I want to redeem myself...